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    April 24

    乡下人看城里人(纯搞笑)

    一、出门打的,乘电梯上七楼的健身房,然后在跑步机上挥汗如雨。

    二、半夜上网,去歌厅、舞厅,困了不睡觉。之后失眠,再吃安眠药。

    三、管儿子叫小兔崽子,管宠物狗叫儿子。

    四、挑最有特色的饭店吃饭,吃最可口的美食,在酒桌上大谈肥胖之害。

    五、把路边上植树的地方用来盖楼,在家里栽盆景。

    六、乡下的爹娘哪不舒服不知道,家里的小狗打了个喷嚏赶紧去宠物医院。

    七、漂亮的 MM 们,鞋上有一个小泥点子,一定要用高级的餐巾纸小心地揩掉;口红淡了一定要补妆,很淑女;可是路边烧烤摊上从俺农村老家贩来的死鸡崽子,都卖给了她们。

    八、手机里存了二、三百个电话号码,没有一个是邻居的。



    九、酒局多时作无可奈何状,吃完酒神力克等解酒药,慷慨赴宴如赴死。没酒喝时打电话:哎,哥们儿,过来啊,整点儿,我请客 ……”

    十、饭店越来越多,厕所越来越少。厕所的标志是此地禁止便溺

    十一、学生们穿得越来越时尚,上学像放学,放学像上学。上学时猛谈恋爱,工作了找不到对象。

    十二、爱情在自己的电脑里,老婆在别人的电脑里。

    十三、家里安了防盗门、防盗窗,却总是丢钥匙,然后请开锁高手撬自己家里的门。

    十四、建广场时,把大树砍掉,再立12 根水泥柱子,建一片水泥的小木屋树墩子

    十五、追求越来越高:谋高级职位、穿高级服装、住高级住宅、坐高级轿车、吃高级饭店,患高血脂、高血压。

    十六、用排骨喂狗,吃乡下喂鸡的野菜。

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